Dealing With Criticism

September 6th, 2007 Posted in Tips and Tricks

This recent post on lifehack.org raises some interesting feelings (today’s euphemism?). Criticism seems to be the universal precursor to conflict and all manner of bad things follow. But any probability of a bad outcome will not stop some folks from expressing their given right to ask you - are you nuts?

So this post offers 7 ways to deal with criticism from other people, whether the criticism is constructive and reasoned or not. I think it’s only fair that I offer some criticism of the post.

Probably the most helpful suggestion is to respond to suggestions, not the tone of the criticism. As I’ve said before, in the heat of conflict voice tone rises and voice speed increases by nature. As the speaker may not realize what is happening, the one criticized may not realize how easy it is to get sucked into the game. Focusing on content, not voice tenor, can offer some control.

What doesnÂ’t work? The advice to not take it personally. Some criticism is meant to be personal. It’s meant to demean a person, to attack a person right at the identity of self, to shame a person and if you ignore the personal character of the criticism, I don’t believe you’ll ever come to grips with what really happened. Cases in point - divorces, lost customers, civil suits - all arising out of criticism that somebody meant to be personal.

On the whole, read the article and use your own judgment. The only thing that would be worse would be not to strive for a more productive strategy to being criticized.

Dennis

(for a humorous look at critics, check the website of sci-fi authors Douglas Preston and Lincoln Childs)

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